I have a five, almost six, year old son. I have done my best to teach him to talk properly and politely. Usually, he listens pretty well. He is ahead of his peers in his speech and , has an excellent grasp of the English language, is doing very well with reading and even better with writing. he uses big words all the time, and will often use a word in such the right context that all of us around him become suitably impressed and proud. So…whats the issue?
The Butt Stuff.
Honestly, its every day he goes on about his behind. I know a neighborhood kid introduced him to the word “booty” which led to a “Shake your Booty” dance that they practiced, unbeknownst to me, to perfection. As quickly as I tried to put a stop to it, my son still tries to get away with it now and again. The word booty has become another banned word from his vocabulary. Not so much that I believe its a bad word, but that he was saying it constantly.
The butt jokes.
Where do they come from? Do they all sit on the bus coming home from school and make them up? It gets so tiring. He loves to spell, and unfortunately he loves to spell butt all the time. Another favorite thing he does is inject these words into every day sentences. Such as, “Hey mom, can I have a peanut butter and butt sandwich?” Or “I’m going to Butt today!” And no matter how much I yell, its still so funny to him. I swear, I don’t teach him this, he doesn’t get it off of TV (well maybe SpongeBob, you never know with that sponge!) He also tries to get away with smacking his butt while doing the booty dance. Alas, the drama of a toddler!
Flatulence is another one. It never ends. His favorite, favorite, favorite word is fart. Why? Can anyone please explain why this cracks kids up so much? He does the same thing, injects it into various sentences, spells it out, and worst of all, has perfected the art of actually DOING it. For a five year old, his gas can pack a wallop. Which is then cause for mass hysteria on his part. I have a younger daughter, and if she happens to pass gas, the whole world must know. While walking in a store, God forbid something squeaks out a funny noise. You’ll hear him exclaim, hey who farted? Why? Why is it so darn funny?
Kids. You do you’re best to teach them, and they still don’t butt you. Ooops….see, he’s rubbing off. Sigh.